Getting Ready: August 2005

Not every kid gets their own personalized happy hugger! Thanks Brenda.

Saturday

"Every cloud has a silver lining."
I hate sayings like that for lots of reasons, but partly becuase I'm never quite sure what they mean. If your trying to say that something that looked like a bit of dud actually turned out to be pretty good - then I guess that was my Saturday. But let's bust the cliche wide open.

It dawned on me at about 6:30am Saturday morning that I'm never going to sleep in again. Well, that's not strictly true, I guess when Ben is about 14 he'll be sleeping in too. That's not too long to wait, right? I've always lived my life knowing that my Satudays would be different to my Mon-Fri's. But Ben hasn't quite mastered that concept yet. In fact, he can't, because if he did stop feeding and pooing he'd probably end up back in hospital. So I was trying to digest the fact that, while I wasn't at work, Saturdays were bearing a remarkably strange resmeblance to the rest of the week.

But it was a balmy day in Cape Town and I ended up pottering in the yard, letting the dogs have a run, I fired up the weber and sat under the tress with Hayley and enjoyed a tasty lunch with a couple of glasses of white. And it suddenly dawned on me that this isn't so bad. In fact, you might even say, I've got the best of both worlds. So cliches aside, if you were tring to say that something that looked like a bit of dud actually turned out to be pretty good - then I guess that was my Saturday.

Scott

Touch

Touch 2

Touch 3

Disclaimer

Although some people see 'cute' in the photo below, it just dawned on my that others may see 'suffocation'. So you need to know that no babies were hurt in the taking of this photo, it was a naturally occurring phenomena, and Ben is still with us, happy and healthy. What a little trooper.

Scott

Mmmmm . . . time for a nappy change?!

I love the hair! It's 'Gorillas in the Mist' meets 'Last of the Mohecians'

Surprise!

Balance

I guess this blog has at least 2 modes. Update and reflection. Psalm 103 a few days ago was a reflection, the pictures and everyday stuff are the updates. For a worthwhile blog, you need to get the balance just right. To many reflections and it gets a bit soppy, too many updates, and it feels like a shopping list. Hope I'm not upsetting the balance with another update.

It's kind of short and pedestrian, almost insignificant in the scheme of a normal day, let alone life. But it was a barrel of monkeys for us today when we went off for coffee. Just the . . .3 of us. Ben slept the whole time - so apart from the cherry cola coloured pram next to me (which by the way, glides like silk), he might as well of been invisible. We chatted merrily about life, love, baby stuff and non baby stuff. It was a pleasure. And a reassurance. We are still 'us'. Still normal (although we are living a 'new' normal now) and pretty stoked. I guess it's like a good blog, you gotta get the balance just right.

Scott

The Boys

Changing Time

Seven Days

Ben is one week old today.

Where does the time go? One minute he is laying there, staring at you farting, the next minute . . .well, it’s pretty much the same. To mark his one week b’day Ben decided to carry on one of the only traditions he has got up to this point. He likes nothing more than lying flat on his back with his pants off and weeing in his face. And mine. Ahhhh . . . special moments. If either one of us aren’t blinded by this 7 day celebration ritual, it should make pretty touching memories. Anyway, happy one week’er champ. You’ve got a lot of love.

Scott

Psalm 103

Last night I was reading Ps 103

"Like a Father has compassion on his children
so the lord has compassion on all who fear Him."

We know that in it’s very nature, love isn't tamed but wild. Yet we quite happily box God and His love for those who fear him. It becomes a truth (which it is) and a building block of our faith (which it also is). But when you realise that God's love for His children is like my love for Ben (but only more perfect in every way) it dawns on you that God's love is also wild. It's passionate, it hurts, it is powerful and it goes all the way to the cross.

Being loved like that has got to be the best thing in the world. And Psalm 103 tells us that it is all ours, as long as we are people who fear God. I guess it’s a bit like our fear of the sea. We love going to the beach, but we don’t muck around with the power of the ocean. You take it seriously and treat it with the respect it deserves. God’s a lot bigger and more majestic than the ocean, so the Bible’s spot on when it tells us that we should treat Him in a similar way. The Lord only has compassion on those who take Him seriously, who take Him at His word. Once you’ve done that, the love of a perfect Father is yours.

Scott

Nan's Beanie

The life of the party - even when he is asleep

Midnight Thoughts

I just enjoyed an expensive cigar under a nearly full moon by candlelight at midnight. As tends to happen, I started to think the kind of thoughts that usually get crowded out during the course of an average day (not that I've had too many of those lately). I came up with a list of things I want to do with Ben at some point along the way. Some are more important than others, but each have value. I realise I might be getting just a bit ahead of myself here, but a good plan today is better than a perfect plan tommorrow. So here we go. They are in no particular order.

Light a fire
Climb a tree
Do his first movie together
Cook a tasty meal
Learn to be patient
Argue convincingly yet graciously
Catch a clean a fish
Teach him which stars are which
Introduce him to Jesus
Show him how to improvise
Catch his first wave
Be self controlled
Pray
Go camping
Read a poem
Encourage him to stick his neck out
Appreciate both comic books and Shakespeare

It's not exhustive, but it's a start.

Scott

Day 3 was another good day

I realise at this point that it is starting to dawn on you that there are only so many pictures of someone else's kid you can look at without baby overload. And that's cool. If you just want to dip in for a quick update whenever it suits you, that's fine by me. But I know there are some devoted fans out there - Leights, Kitty, Meryl and Julia, not to mention the mums. But even more than that - this blog lets me express joy to people both near and far - so if you get bored and tune out, I don't really care.

Today Ben got the snip. When he got back from his little trip he was fast asleep, so it didn't seem to bother him too much. Still sleeping lots, not crying much, so lets hope it lasts. Hayley is doing well but very keen to get home - which will be tommorrow.

This afternoon I thought I would be the proactive dad and decided to change the nappy at bed side before Hayley set herself up for a feed. With a snipped penis, festy cord stump and some seriously stinky poo - it was the challenge of the day - but I was feeling good. That was until I realised I had begun the procedure without all the stuff I needed close at hand - and then the inevitable happened and the fountain of wee erupted everywhere. What, 5 seconds previous, had been a perfectly ordered situation had become chaos. There is a lesson for life in there somewhere . . .

Tommorrow is D Day, we'll be bringing Ben back home. We have passed go, it's time to collect $200.

Scott

Life is good

Ben's first bath . . .and no one drowned . . . or cried!

The Finger

The mum's from room 315

Oh yeah, I'm smiling!

The Family - Day 2

Power Nap

Goodnight

Hi Mum!

Benjamin James Tubman!

Welcome to your very own website, champ!

For the rest of us, the pics are below and even though words fall far short, some words nevertheless.

Maybe just some memorable moments . . .

When we got to the hospital, the guy at the front desk was a legend - I think he was ex-SWAT. He immediately picked up the phone and said, "We need a wheelchair down to front desk, STAT!" 10 seconds later we were on our way up to the labor ward.

After the epidural, our Doc came in and said that baby was still very high and in a bad position. Could try anothger 8-10 hrs of labour but no guarentees. Didn't push us but suggested a cesa. Hayley's dream had come true! We said "hell,yes" He said, "How does 45 min suit you?!" I get dressed up, we go into the theatre the cesa happens without a hitch - amazing - and Benjamin James enters the world.

I cut the cord (with what look suspciously like cigar cutters) and the 3 of us spend some good time together - he is so aware and calm it was awesome. Then while Hayley goes post op, I go to the nursery and after he is weighed, I sit with him for 20-30 min, skin to skin. We prayed, hugged and while I told him all the cool things we were going to do in the next 30 years, he tried to suck my boob. Hayley was ready so we went back to her and he breastfeed well.

The whole experience couldn't have been better, but I feel like I was on work experience, being part of the whole thing, but it stills seems surreal,but nice. On numerous times I was overwhelmed with a wave ofthankfulness and feelings of genuine love, but past that finding it hard to put into words.

Sleep will be tough tonight. But as I sign out from my first post as Dad, I'm thanking God very much for His goodness.

Scott